Behind the Scenes on the Ritz-Carlton Yacht

When you’re “not a cruise person” but then you get an email that's like “hi do you want to review the new Ritz-Carlton yacht?”

If you’re like “hmmm, Ritz Carlton yacht, that sounds familiar,” maybe it’s because you read this or this. I got to go on one of the first non-celeb cruises, and I got to bring my mom (!). The caveat is that there’d also be a photographer on board, and I’d be needed for some “human element” shots — a hand reaching for a cocktail, a sunset silhouette, that sort of thing.

The day I boarded the ship, I got a message from my editor that there had been a change of plans. Now, they needed a full photoshoot, and I’d have to model — face and everything. Luckily, I packed a suitcase full of gowns. (But in retrospect, I should have hit up the on-board salon for some professional hair and makeup.)

I spent the week with Natali Afsar, a Belgian photographer who has carved out a niche as THE chic ship photographer. I think getting my photo taken is actually kind of fun. Models have literally the easiest job in the world and if any of them try to convince you otherwise, just take that with a grain of salt because they’re probably too beautiful to have ever worked a real job.

See the full story in Oltre Magazine or keep reading for the behind-the-scenes scoop.

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where I went

The cruise started in Athens with stops in Milos, Chania, Ortigia, Taormina, and Sorrento before ending in Rome. If I could only choose one of those places to return to, it would probably be Crete, a Greek island that is so unique it should basically be its own country. (They agree.)

Otherworldly natural wonders, great food and wine, and some of the best beaches in the Med. We went to what is probably the worst beach in Crete and it was still pretty ideal: walking distance from town and crammed with loungers, but soft sand and crystal clear water.

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who I met

Most of the people I met were first-time cruisers, lured by the promise that the RC yacht is not like other cruises. (It is in fact exactly like other cruises, only better.) Everyone on board was surprisingly young (lots of couples in their 40s) and surprisingly hot (there was a literal Victoria’s Secret model onboard). I already wrote about the most enigmatic person on board, a septuagenarian Italian woman who dressed exclusively in couture gowns and diamonds. The only other time I have seen this $500k Bulgari serpenti necklace was at a museum exhibit in Moscow. The rumor on board was that she did the inaugural sailing with her husband the previous week and loved it so much she just didn’t get off the boat. I hope she is still onboard.

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what I ate

The food on board was better than it needed to be. I had the best spaghetti carbonara of my entire trip, and that’s saying a lot since I spent a week in Rome after the cruise. But the best thing I ate was this cold sesame noodle with crab. I still think about it sometimes. (Please tell me where I can find this in New York!)

My one critique of the food on board is that there was no breakfast buffet. I am not a breakfast person, so I love when I’m at a fancy hotel and I get to have some weird little salads, an Asian soup, and a chocolate croissant first thing in the morning. (Shout out to Velaa in the Maldives for having the best breakfast buffet in the world). The breakfast situation onboard was a little whack, honestly, since they had no non-egg, non-sweet, hot items. (But they did make me congee one morning, which is my ideal breakfast.)

My meals off the boat were mostly unremarkable except for on the Amalfi coast, where our boat driver took us to this restaurant for maybe the best spaghetti alle vongole I’ve ever had in my life, accompanied by some Furore from Marisa Cuomo.

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what I drank

My mom is famously not allowed to drink gin because “it makes her want to rob a bank” so in solidarity with her, I tried a non-alcoholic Negroni made with actual zero-proof Tanqueray, vermouth, and Campari. (I also had plenty of real Negronis, French 75s, Americanos, and who can say no when a staff member cracks open a magnum of Whispering Angel?)

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what I read

I’ve killed too many brain cells to reread The Odyssey, so I opted for the next best thing: Circe.

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what I packed:

A Georgia Hardinge number similar to this one and a long mauve version of this Good American dress paired with a boxy silk kimono from Poochki. I packed but didn’t end up wearing a floor-length mesh dress that I got for $10 at one of those pay-by-weight vintage stores in Paris. My bag was a sparkly number similar to this one from Jennifer Miller. I also packed my silk robe from Kayll, which made a cameo in the photos. But most of the photoshoots happened in a bathrobe.

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what I listened to

One night on board, they had a party where they had local musicians play and it was literally the best cover band I have ever heard in my life? Future brides, this is your sign to have a Dolce Vita wedding and hire these guys.

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what I bought:

Since I was going back to Taormina, I made a plan to visit Antonio lo Turco to buy some earrings I regretted not getting last time I was there. He remembered us and was so happy we returned that he gave my mom and I each one of these little horn charms made of coral. I wear it all the time next to my shark tooth charm. I bought a pair of giant gold cross earrings that I wore to the Vatican a few days later.

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is it worth it?

Did I have fun? Yes. Did I eat delicious things and see new places? Also yes. Would I pay $25k for this?